IVF Q&A: Brubaker Style!

So here are some questions that I've been asked or that I've asked others. Let me know if you want to know something else!   I don't claim to be an expert of all things fertility, however I AM the expert in all things related to OUR (Bryan and my) fertility journey!  I have read an unbelievable about of articles, personal websites, and doctor pages too so I don know quite a bit about baby making! lol

Q: What is In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)?
A: IVF is a process.  Eggs are removed from the ovaries.  They are then mixed with sperm in a little dish.  The fertilization (sperm meets egg) happens in vitro.  In vitro literally means "in glass."  From there, the embryos (sperm inside an egg) are placed into the uterus to hopefully implant.

Q: How long does IVF take?
A: For us, if all goes as planned, it should be about a six week process.   But for others it may be longer.

Q: Do you have to take medications?
A: Yes!  I have to be on birth control for awhile to regulate hormones and to help know exactly which dates I start taking other medications.  There are also drugs (shots) that I'll be getting.  Some people have more/less.   I will be getting Lupron, Follistim, Novarel, and progesterone injections.  We are taking a course on how to give the injections ourselves, however I have recruited some nursing friends that are going to help me out.

Q: How much does IVF cost?
A: Each doctor/office is different, and it depends on how much (if any) your insurance covers.  For us, our insurance covers ZERO costs relating to fertility!  So yes, that means we have paid out of pocket and/pr taken out loans for all of this!    Our doctor and hospital fees will be around $13,000.  Then we have to pay for medications.  Our doctor said these could range anywhere between $2,000-$6,000.   Luckily, I am not needing as many high doses of medications, so we are going to be a little less than $2,000.    This brings our grand total to right at $15,000!   Some may say, "Well that's less than a car payment!" and "It's worth it!"  We agree that the money is SO worth it! However, this procedure is no guarantee! We could pay all this and not have a baby at all!  And if it is successful, then we pay and then we have an ACTUAL BABY to pay for on top of what we already pay monthly for IVF. Honestly, the cost was the main deciding  factor for us.

Q: What are the odds that it will work?
A: There are TONS of factors that determine if IVF will work or not.  Some of the main determining factors for us are: woman's age, number of eggs left, the man's sperm quality.  We were told we have  a 57% chance of this working.  This number is particularly low, I think, but we are hopeful that we will beat these odds!

Q: So are you trying to be like Octomom or something like that?
A: Um, no!  Our doctor takes a very conservative approach to IVF.  His practice is geared towards having healthy, "singleton" pregnancies.   Although there are chances of multiples, he places a conservative amount of embryos back in to help lessen the odds of multiples. 

*On a funny note, I keep telling Bryan that we are going to have triplets.  He doesn't find this as funny as I do! LOL  I regularly say things like, "Now when we're car shopping, we have to look for things we can get three carseats in." (Oh, my goodness I'm hilarious!) So I'm accepting applications for daycare/nanny services for when the triplets are here!HAHA

Q: Whose fault is it?
A: There is NO blame in this!  We do know the cause of why we haven't had success.  Bryan had a reversal that has shown to have been unsuccessful.  There has never, not even once, been a discussion about it being someone's fault.  That's just hurtful. 

Q: (This isn't really a question, but a statement that I'd like to address).  Bryan CHOSE to have a vasectomy years ago. So now even though the reversal didn't work, it's still a chosen thing.  So it's really not infertility.  
(This translates to me: You CHOSE to be able to not have a baby.  So you shouldn't be  surprised/sad that you aren't having a baby.)
A: I've gotten this one a lot, and it's one of the most painful things I've heard.  Yes, it was chosen years ago, long before me.  But we made the decision together to get it reversed.  Sadly, the procedure hasn't worked.  The whole point is, we should be able to have a baby and we can't.  The surgery that we were told had a 98% chance of working didn't.  So that's why we are here. The cause of the infertility is different than many others, but the effect is the same.  We see a fertility doctor, receive fertility treatments, and it is just as painful emotionally as any other person struggling to have a baby.  So yes, it's infertility. 

Q: Why don't you just adopt?
A: Adoption is right for a lot of people! And maybe one day we may consider adoption if this doesn't work.  But for now, we would really like to have a baby that is biologically ours.  I want to have the whole experience of carrying a baby, of the delivery (insane, I know!), and being able to see ourselves in our own child.  

If you have any questions, I'm an open book! Just shoot! :)

Thanks so much for reading, and for your love and support!